The Great Double Space: A Lament
Ah, the enchanting double space! Where the battles of single space versus double space rage on like a never-ending quest for the Iron Throne. As a proud “elder millennial”, I find myself unapologetically clinging to the delightful rhythm of that extra space that was engrained into me starting back in my Mavis Beacon days of “words per minute” and hurdle-racing men that tripped anytime I made a typing mistake.
Picture it: the glorious era of floppy disks and dot matrix printers. I strode confidently through the world of typewriters to the first clickerty-clacks of apple and microsoft keyboards, my fingers dancing across the QWERTY board like a maestro of prose. Oh, the double space, a digital flourish that shouted, “I am unique!” Amidst the rapid technological evolution, the double space has become our generations secret handshake, reminding us of a simpler time when spell check was just a glimmer in a programmer's eye, autocorrect didn’t exist and you had to ask a paper clip to run a spell check.
And in my pondering as to what that paper clip’s name was, I have to wonder, why should I settle for a lonely, single space when I can have two? It's like ordering extra cheese on your pizza or discovering a hidden stash of chocolate in the back of your cupboard. Double the space means double the happiness! Like Doublemint gum, double the pleasure, double the fun. It's a punctuation party where only our generational elders are invited and each period gives way to its very own breathing space, like a dignified royal waving at its subjects.
Oh, the visual impact of the double space! It transforms my bland, single-spaced text into a majestic landscape, complete with rolling hills and spacious valleys. Each sentence stands tall, pausing to take a dramatic breath before resuming its journey. It's like adorning our words with a beautiful butterfly clip, Jinco jeans, Airwalk shoes, or the latest mini backpack from the coveted Delia’s catalogue. It adds that touch of elegance that separates us from the punctuation plebeians that have adopted the ellipsis after every statement to try and recreate the same, but unmatched, visual appeal.
And for those of us that have had to confront the formidable grammar police, lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce on unsuspecting typographical errors, fear not! Our trusty double space acts as a magical talisman, warding off their nitpicky critiques. It's like arming ourselves with an invisible shield, watching their red pens wither in confusion, horrified at our disregard for their rules. We invoke the double space to strike fear in the grammar police, for our double spaces is their kryptonite, our punctuation rebellion their worst nightmare!
We “elder millennials” relish, thrive and flourish in the chaos that has been created in our entire lifetime and we gleefully watch the single-spacers furrow their brows in perplexity. We have been left with so little that we having nothing left to claim but our incredible double space. These mischievous little gremlins of the typing world, spreading double-spaced mayhem like confetti at a party. We have learned that life is too short to be bound by a single space and that extra space may be all that we have left! Let us embrace and revel in the delightful anarchy of the double space!
My dear “elder millennial” compatriots, the choice is yours to make. Will you succumb to the pressure of progress and adopt the single space, or will you stand proudly as a double-spacer, defying the conventions and reclaiming what is rightfully ours? Regardless of your decision, remember this: the double space represents our unwavering spirit, our refusal to conform blindly to the ever-changing norms, and our own protest to all that was promised us but has yet to be delivered. I say, let your double space freak-flag fly and shine on, and may the typewriter gods applaud you with their eternal laughter and nostalgia for the simpler days of Mavis Beacon, butterfly clips, jinco jeans, and mini backpacks.
